I am so trippin' balls right now.

Just a little more...

I really hate those times you poop a friggin' house, but there's one last, little brick won't come out...till after you clean up, stand up, and head for the door.

Right now...

I really wish I had gone shopping at poopourri.com earlier. Seriously.

Bastards!!!

It wouldn't surprise me to learn that the IT guys here suppress the wifi signal I the bathrooms. My Words With Friends play is really suffering.

Phlushaphobia

Ever since I switched jobs and went from auto-flush bathrooms to manual, I suffer from pretty strong anxiety soon after I leave the pooper. I always doubt whether or not I flushed before leaving the stall. Regrettably, my fears have been realized at least once.

Starving

You ever have one of those poos, that as soon as it drops, before you even stand up, you're famished? Now I need a sammich.

I just initiated my own personal courtesy flush.