The average person farts 17 times daily. I am apparently above average.

If there were an olympic pooping event, would it be in the summer or winter?

I wish that my body would cooperate and allow me to poo.

I wonder if is possible to crap standing up without taking crap-enhancing drugs.

If my woman called me in an emergency while I was crapping, I'd have to avenge her. Unwiped.

End of the day, wasting time, until I can leave work poo.

Try as you might, once the 'perfect moment to poo' hits, you won't be able to make it to the toilet in time.

There is something nice about a work toilet after a vacation.